Why does Air India suck?

Now don't get me wrong, Air India doesn't suck. But on occasion, they have sucked ... badly ... and repeatedly.

Recently, on a trip to India, I had to make a choice of which airline to fly on, and Air India had a flight that the other airlines didn't have - something that departed at 1 AM. It was my only choice, where upon I asked the question ... Why does Air India suck?

I asked Google, and it came up with a brilliantly written article. Actually, the article is anything but brilliant. What I found interesting about it was that it was so poorly written, all with bad grammar, vocabulary and typical Indian English, and yet so full of emotion that I couldn't help but laugh a lot while reading it. I shared it with my brother, and since both of us have flown Air India before, and we both agree that they have sucked royally, we both had a good laugh together.

Here's the article. Read it and laugh. Unfortunately, I have to agree with this guy.

Air India SUCKS.

September 17th, 2006

“At Air India we are always looking to make our services and products better.”
This is how “contact us” sector begins with Air India website. I sent them couple of emails from last three weeks and they never replied me. Needless to say Air India, the worst travel experience I ever had in my life, not only ones, many times. But still I am using them cz I have no better options to my hometown. I am sure whoever traveled in Air India, particularly in the Middle East sector will tell you thousands of nastiest stories. Here you go my experience within three months…

Scene 1. Three months back, I travelled with my wife and she was carrying. We where in a 310 aircraft, the minute we sat I felt the seat is not comfortable and it was shaking!!! I try it out again and it’s “nail may not tightened” or something, the seat was shaking! I called the cabin cru and ask her “ Did you ever traveled in a tractor? She gave me a strange look and said “NO” I told her “then try this seat and this is how you will experience when you are in a tractor” She then offers us another seat in front raw and it was ok. We thanked her and smile, happy.

Scene 2. As airplanes descend air pressure in the cabin increases makes me hectic earache. Avoid that I use to chew gum or put some cotton inside ears. I forgot to keep chewing gum with me so I request to get some cotton; cabin cru disappears with a smile and never get back. I called her again and she emerge after 7-10 minutes and I repeat “Can I have some cotton please” She said sorry I forgot would get you one. After few minutes, a male cru appeared and said “sorry sir we don’t have cotton stock in it!!!
I was like what the fuck? Cottons are the basic thing u gets like water in any aircraft and they are running out of stock? I told him “make sure there you have enough fuel for cross the Arabian Sea” bear in mind I was in a National Carrier!!!

Scene 3: I was traveled again 3 weeks back in the same flight. It was the day after London terrorist threat, so Kuwait airport raised security levels significantly and the flight where delayed by 2 hours. Due to strict security reason, Air India doesn’t allowed passengers to carry their Mobile Phones in flight. After the check-in Ai staff collect all the passengers mobile phones and sealed them in separate envelopes with the passenger name and seat number. The flight was jam-packed and all of them where carrying mobile phones, the entire process took another solid two hours. I was worried about my phone, it was my PDA and a lots of data in it with no back-ups! Since they wrote the seat number I thought they would return the phone end of the journey, but doesn’t.

I had only my handbag, so I where able to get out from the channel very first then I was looking for my phone, I ask one of the Air India staff there, and he was like “ no we have no idea about that” Then I told him the story our phones are collected by Ai and where suppose to get it back here. While we chatting I saw an Airport staff carried a “card board carton” and he kept it in front of us, it was our phones!!! They just dump all the phones in a very chaos way, and luckily I noticed my handset smiling to me on top of that bundle. So I identify the guy and collect my phone and walked away. It was time people walking out and all of them wanted to get back their mobile phones. There where no system for distributing them and the place become chaos within minutes with more than 300 passengers, shouting each other and fighting to get their mobile phones. Ai proved their irresponsibility again.

Scene 4: I arrived in India Friday evening 12th Aug. my return ticket booked on 18th Aug, which is only 6 days left. Since it’s rush season, I went to re-confirm my ticket at Air India Office next Monday. It was 2-30 P.M and the place where busy. I went to the counter for register my name; while writing down my name the elderly lady told “I am not sure you will be called today, cz it is too busy and we will be closing at 5-30”. I told her my flight is on next Friday, and tomorrow is Aug 15, which you are closed and then I have no 72 hours left for re-confirm my ticket if don’t do it today.” Then she told me “I cant help you any more, but you have to wait and see”. I tolled her I came for only 6 days and I have no time for waiting in your office for re-confirm my ticket for hours. Time for action, my blood pressure goes high and I ignore that nut lady and headed to the manager’s carbine. I was carrying a higher-class ticket and the manager understands my situation. He then took me to another cabin and re-confirm my ticket, its took him only 3minuts and I left the office giving some @#$%$@ words to that nut lady sitting in the counter. Fucking service on-board and ground.

Scene 5: The sun wasn’t raised yet; I gave a warm hug to my weeks old baby, a glance to my buddy, good bye to my parents and left home and headed to the airport at 5.30 a.m. It was raining heavily and Jagjith Singh’s “forget me not” is playing in the car. We where speeding to catch 8.30 a.m. flight since the airport is around 50 k,m far from my home.

We reached Calicut airport at 7.00 a.m. and after check-in they announce Calicut-Kuwait flight delayed by two hours. I then start reading “The Zahir” and after 30 minute, they re-announced the flight is further delayed by 8 hours, which will take of from Calicut airport at 2-30 p.m. We where waiting in the lounge and no Ai staffs where there for any further Information or assistance. There where many families with children’s and no food or other services offered from Air India till 11, we where called for breakfast in the airport restaurant which was crap and finally we boarded on flight at 1-30 and they again announced there is a technical problem so it will be again delayed. People starts screaming and finally the flight took off 3.15 p.m.

All I have to say I am extremely pissed off with AIR INDIA and hope fully no more trip with our national carrier.

Sorry for the long post guys.

The Indian Bus Ride

Who's been on a trip to India? No worries, don't answer that - you know if you've been on one. Indians tend to have the worst airline etiquette in my experience.

I've flown to Hong Kong, Australia, Taiwan, India, all over Western Europe, Japan, North America and Africa. Indians are really lousy passengers.

Now let me make a few clarifications - Indians are really good people. Most Indians are well educated, polite, considerate, often smelly, helpful people. As is always the case, the minority element eventually ends up defining the stereotypes.

When I fly in or out of India, I try, by hook or by crook, to score business or first class seats. This is because Indians are inherently competitive people, looking to win, or atleast, one up the other guy. This is great in the business world but on trivial matters, it can be annoying.

Typically, my experience to and from India can be likened to a third world bus ride, full of drunk rowdy people, fist fights, arguments over who talked to whose girlfriend, injured egos and pride and so on. I'm sorry to say, being Indian, I'm ashamed of it.

I don't think it's a lot to ask of someone to be open minded and forgiving. Maybe I glanced at your hot wife with the nice round C cups, or accidentally sat in your seat instead of mine. A little politeness can go a long way and besides, if you're so incapable of handling other guys staring at your wife, maybe you're not man enough for her ... You think?

Anyway, for 30 years, Indian behavior has worsened in the air. A lot of international carriers fly to India now, but once upon a time, there was only Air India and their service was awesome.

Now, they suck, and their flight attendants are as old as their jets ... The details of which are for a different note, but indicative of how resigned they are to their positive customer service attitude. Let's face it - The foreign airlines have to force smiles on their faces because Indians are not good passengers. They are rude, unkind, unforgiving and on average, try to treat the crew like servants who are beneath themselves.

If Indians expect to retain a class based society, then, certainly, the cost of travel will go up and stay up, at the expense of decency and quality.

The Bombay Ticket Counters

Bombay airport is called the Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport, formerly known simply as Sahar International Airport. Leave it to the Indians to keep things simple.

Fortunately, besides the long name, the airport has improved dramatically from the hollow shell that it once used to be. An ongoing development is recreating the interior to make it a world class airport.

The sister airport, also known by the exceedingly long name, formerly known simply as the Santa Cruz Domestic Airport, has transformed from an ugly stepchild to a wonderfully spacious and first class airport facility.

Most of this redevelopment has occured after the semi-privatization of the airports by the Government Of India. About time, considering the presence of India on the world stage.

However, the development is far from complete and this is obvious at the checkin counters. For starters, the construction is obvious, not so much by the fashionably colorful floor to cieling wooden boards all over, but by pails of concrete, ladders and dust near by.

In India, prior to checking in your bags, you have to get them sealed with a plastic strip. A rather large machine operated by a crew of a half dozen men screens and then places a strip around the bag. While it appears to be a security measure, in reality, it's probably a mechanism to keep those men employed. Most airports have three or four of these machines. That's 24 people with a job.

Typically, if you are unaware of this procedure, you will likely find out, much to your frustration, after having stood in line for some time and finally reached the counter, only to be sent to the back of the line.

The Continental Airlines counter is basically an Air India counter with Continental printed cards all over. On the day I traveled, service had only been a week old, and the staff were only just being trained.

There were several personnel from the US overseeing the Indian personnel. While they tried to be discreet, it was next to impossible as the average black or white male is quite a bit larger than the average Indian male, let alone an Indian female.

Security was tricky as I was part of the education program for the staff. The Indian guy asked me a battery of questions with an obvious lack of surety in his eyes, and then cross checked with someone who it turned out was the chief of security for the flight.

Since they haven't started advertising the flights in India, the flight was almost empty and checkin was smooth.

One note is that only one hand luggage is allowed, regardless of the airline's own policy. This is an Indian rule that's enforced in a very ad hoc fashion. It appears women can take up to three bags without being questioned whereas men can't. While being highly irregular, it's very annoying so be warned.

Continental's New Flights to Bombay

Not too long ago, I was surfing the web and came upon the new India flights from Continental Airlines. It didn't come as a surprise, as Delta and American already had their direct flights.

What did come as a surprise was the destination - Bombay. For me, this was great news as that's a city in India that I'm familiar with and, for all intents and purposes, its the New York City of India.

So I decided that I must check it out.

The first, most important, aspect of this flight is the schedule.

CO48 - Outbound from EWR to BOM, leaves at 8 pm and arrives at 8:30 pm, 14 hours later (give or take an hour).

CO49 - Inbound from BOM to EWR, departs at 11:45 pm from Bombay and gets in at 5:30 am, about 14 hours later.

Both flights fly a polar route with flights over Afghanistan and Pakistan.

I flew on October 12th, which was only a week after their inaguration.

More after the break ...