Entertainment

Inflight entertainment is mostly pretty bad. That is, unless the airline has either invested in retrofitting their jets or outright bought new jets.

If you are the unfortunate many that prefer to travel with "legacy" carriers like Lufthansa or United, you will no doubt know that most of their jets have a central projector and the choices of entertainment are non existent.

However if you happen to travel with a broader set of carriers, then you must have seen the newer systems.

The best system I've experienced is on Singapore Airlines, but that was in First Class so let's exclude them.

Within the US, the best coach class entertainment system is with Delta. Virgin America, a new entrant, may have a better system. I'll fly them later this month and report back.

JetBlue is second best. Both Delta and JetBlue have live TV as well as movies, games and music. However, Delta's selection is better.

Alaska has done a smart job of introducing Digeplayers - digital entertainment systems that you can rent and place it on your seat back table to watch. It has a variety of movies, TV shows, games and more. However since it isn't attached to the seat, you have to close it down if you wish to use the seat back table for anything else. American Airlines is following suit, though only on their transcontinental flights.

The only system better than Delta's is Continental's on their 777-200. Only some of their jets have them. The system is very similar to what's found on Delta, only with far more options. More movies, more music and more games. It also appears to have been prepped for INTERNET access.

This all makes a lot of sense. The systems used by JetBlue, Continental and Delta run on a version of Linux, a computer operating system. Without digressing, I'll say that Linux is a powerful, yet cheap alternative to more traditional systems and thus allows an airline to experiment more freely with their options.

The ideal entertainment system, next ...

787 and 747-8

Boeing had a problem some years ago when Airbus proposed their ungainly, ugly behemoth called the A380. Airbus's bet was that increased demand required a big jet to fly people around the world.

Boeing already had a big jet - the 747. In addition to being big, the 747 is a very beautiful jet. The design evokes images of power and strength. It's just a really big beautiful jet.

However Boeing bet that increased capacity was due to decreasing ticket prices. Combined with increasing fuel cost, the world needed a jet that would be cheap to fly, but could fly far and carry a lot. Hence the 787.

The 787 was not a competitive product to the A380, rather, Boeing's take on the same data that Airbus used when they decided to build the A380. In order to compete on par, Boeing announced the 747-8 Transcontinental, a jet that was essentially a 787 in fabric but a 747 in design.

Unfortunately, despite serious marketing, both projects are in a little trouble. The 787-3, which is the launch product, has issues with marrying the avionics and other instruments. While this is a setback in time, it also induces uncertainty in the minds of customers. This directly threatens the 747-8 as that jet isn't scheduled to launch until 2010.

For the sake of beautiful design, we can only hope that Boeing's woes won't be the undoing of stylish flight design. Capitalism has never been stylish, yet we've managed to make it stylish. In the rush for profits, we can only hope the world keeps it that way.

Upgrades update

The days of free upgrades may be coming to an end. It makes sense once you hear the reasons.

Having just received this information, it's fresh off the press. United is upgrading their business and first class product. Other airlines are doing the same. Even more others are buying new jets with beautiful new products.

In all this investment, there's no room for freebies. Typically, after about 5 years in service, the full fare passenger finds that the product has aged too much to pay full fare, at which time the airline tries to pull additional revenue by upgrading passengers.

For now, with the stiff competition in the airline marketplace, their best source of revenue is their business product. Even if the airline doesn't entirely do away with their upgrade policy, it would become increasingly difficult to upgrade if the plan works as the seats would have been sold out to full fare passengers.

To upgrade or not to upgrade? That is the question ...

Upgrades are the wild card in the airline industry. Be nice when checking in, and you just might get upgraded.

In the airline industry, the available business or first class seat is often used to upgrade an economy class passenger. This is typically done because the freed up economy class seat can be re-sold to someone who is willing to pay a higher fare for that seat.

The person receiving the upgrade is chosen from amongst many factors, namely, frequent flyer status, the ticket class and how sold out that flight is.

In my experience, I've been upgraded because I am a frequent flyer. I've also used stickers for upgrades.

Now this needs an explanation. Different airlines have different methods that they utilize to define their upgrades. American Airlines uses stickers. After you fly a certain number of miles, you are awarded 4 upgrade stickers. Each sticker is worth 500 miles and so a trip of 1600 miles would need 4 stickers. You can also buy stickers and use them for an upgrade, if seats are available. Even there, it depends on the ticket class.

On other airlines such as NorthWest and Continental, so long as seats are available and you are a frequent flyer with status, you get upgraded for free.

Automatic and complimentary upgrades on international flights don't happen. This is mostly because international travel is generally more expensive, less competitive than the domestic market and not really open to scrutiny by the general public.

There is, however, the option of spending miles on upgrades. This, however, required you to hold a Y or H class ticket, meaning that it's a full fare refundable ticket. In this case, capacity allowing, you can spend some of your hard flown frequent flyer miles to move up a class, and the reward is worth it.

Let's think about this - a complimentary upgrade on a 4 hour flight feels good. Business class in a bed you can actually sleep on over a 15 hour flight - good sense. The only thing is the cost. That, unfortunately, boils down to your wallet.

Hence the dilemma ... To upgrade or not.

Why live TV on airplanes is bad ...

Ok TV sucks. That's not because of the technology or anything, it's just that there's rarely anything good on. So much so that with the abundance of channels that show nothing but nothing, people actually feel safe watching TV programs, for that connection to their reality.

Now that airlines like JetBlue and Delta have premiered DirecTV and Dish Network respectively, it brings about an interesting mix of experiences.

The novelty factor is astronomically high. Watching even 36 of those hundreds of channels while flying across the country is amazing.

You have the Food Network, NBC, Discovery and more.

Fly as often as I do and you'd probably do what you'd do at home - channel surf for a while. With at most 36 channels, you'd likely soon tire and turn off the TV.

However even if you were to keep flipping channels, you'd become aware of an interesting problem with live broadcast TV - it was designed to be viewed by a stationary TV.

When you fly across the country, or for that matter, the world, the jet passes over vast tracts of land where the only residents are bison or mustangs, or rattlesnakes. The cable companies don't cover these regions, and if there is coverage, it's because of the spill over from a nearby satellite.

During these times, you have the dubious pleasure of flipping through frozen channels at best, and a "signal not found" message at worst.

It would make so much more sense for airlines to provide pre-recorded programming. From the perspective of the passenger, the majority of the programs are not time sensitive so even if it were to have been recorded earlier, the entertainment value would have been preserved.

So is live TV in jets about entertainment, or an addiction to real time information, like blackberries and cell phones?

Water water everywhere, and not a drop to drink?

In parts of the southwest of the US, there are towns where running water can be expected for only three hours per day. This isn't because they are backward, but because there is a drought.

In other parts of the southwest of the US, and the rest of the world, thousands of gallons of water are put into landfills as a result of discarded liquids from airport security lines.

It has been many years since the "no liquids" rule, and little has been done to address the practicality of it. In principle it works, however, people bring huge amounts of liquids with them to the airport and then discard perfectly good, unused liquids in the trash in order to pass security.

Why can't those liquids be recovered and put to good use? Surely, those liquids can be used for irrigation, or perhaps it could be filtered and cleaned and then re bottled and sold. Dasani and Aquafina do this - and their product isn't stellar.

Any way you look at it, water is too precious a resource to waste for any reason and the longer it takes to realize this, the more abject the shortages will be.

The US is in trouble with their water resources. The water disposed off at airports in the form of mineral water, juices, sports drinks and other types of sodas won't be enough to reverse the drought. It would, however, be enough to help some poor families to have drinking water for one more day.

Environmentally Friendly?

Let's face it. Humans are the least environmentally friendly creatures on the planet. Sure, there are some bats whose excrements can be toxic and end up poisoning the environment, but there aren't billions of them flying around. There are billions of people and a lot of them are flying around.

Let's forget for the moment that air travel consumes huge amounts of air fuel, otherwise known as kerosene. Being a fossil fuel, it is almost as polluting as petrol, but those issues are being dealt with differently. What about how the airlines handle their inflight services?

Pleasantly, airlines are slowly opening their operations to environmentally friendly methods. More has to be done though.

Delta has introduced an amenity bag that is made of mostly biodegradable material. I was very pleased to examine the tooth brush made of corn fiber and the recycled paper bag holder.

This got me to thinking, how much of the internal operations of the airline can be environmentally friendly? Startlingly, a lot of the material used in inflight operations can be recyclable. Cups, bags, bottles, trays, water and more.

It would certainly be a pro business move to be environmentally friendly as renewable sources, though expensive to start up, have an overall lower cost of production.

Why does Air India suck?

Now don't get me wrong, Air India doesn't suck. But on occasion, they have sucked ... badly ... and repeatedly.

Recently, on a trip to India, I had to make a choice of which airline to fly on, and Air India had a flight that the other airlines didn't have - something that departed at 1 AM. It was my only choice, where upon I asked the question ... Why does Air India suck?

I asked Google, and it came up with a brilliantly written article. Actually, the article is anything but brilliant. What I found interesting about it was that it was so poorly written, all with bad grammar, vocabulary and typical Indian English, and yet so full of emotion that I couldn't help but laugh a lot while reading it. I shared it with my brother, and since both of us have flown Air India before, and we both agree that they have sucked royally, we both had a good laugh together.

Here's the article. Read it and laugh. Unfortunately, I have to agree with this guy.

Air India SUCKS.

September 17th, 2006

“At Air India we are always looking to make our services and products better.”
This is how “contact us” sector begins with Air India website. I sent them couple of emails from last three weeks and they never replied me. Needless to say Air India, the worst travel experience I ever had in my life, not only ones, many times. But still I am using them cz I have no better options to my hometown. I am sure whoever traveled in Air India, particularly in the Middle East sector will tell you thousands of nastiest stories. Here you go my experience within three months…

Scene 1. Three months back, I travelled with my wife and she was carrying. We where in a 310 aircraft, the minute we sat I felt the seat is not comfortable and it was shaking!!! I try it out again and it’s “nail may not tightened” or something, the seat was shaking! I called the cabin cru and ask her “ Did you ever traveled in a tractor? She gave me a strange look and said “NO” I told her “then try this seat and this is how you will experience when you are in a tractor” She then offers us another seat in front raw and it was ok. We thanked her and smile, happy.

Scene 2. As airplanes descend air pressure in the cabin increases makes me hectic earache. Avoid that I use to chew gum or put some cotton inside ears. I forgot to keep chewing gum with me so I request to get some cotton; cabin cru disappears with a smile and never get back. I called her again and she emerge after 7-10 minutes and I repeat “Can I have some cotton please” She said sorry I forgot would get you one. After few minutes, a male cru appeared and said “sorry sir we don’t have cotton stock in it!!!
I was like what the fuck? Cottons are the basic thing u gets like water in any aircraft and they are running out of stock? I told him “make sure there you have enough fuel for cross the Arabian Sea” bear in mind I was in a National Carrier!!!

Scene 3: I was traveled again 3 weeks back in the same flight. It was the day after London terrorist threat, so Kuwait airport raised security levels significantly and the flight where delayed by 2 hours. Due to strict security reason, Air India doesn’t allowed passengers to carry their Mobile Phones in flight. After the check-in Ai staff collect all the passengers mobile phones and sealed them in separate envelopes with the passenger name and seat number. The flight was jam-packed and all of them where carrying mobile phones, the entire process took another solid two hours. I was worried about my phone, it was my PDA and a lots of data in it with no back-ups! Since they wrote the seat number I thought they would return the phone end of the journey, but doesn’t.

I had only my handbag, so I where able to get out from the channel very first then I was looking for my phone, I ask one of the Air India staff there, and he was like “ no we have no idea about that” Then I told him the story our phones are collected by Ai and where suppose to get it back here. While we chatting I saw an Airport staff carried a “card board carton” and he kept it in front of us, it was our phones!!! They just dump all the phones in a very chaos way, and luckily I noticed my handset smiling to me on top of that bundle. So I identify the guy and collect my phone and walked away. It was time people walking out and all of them wanted to get back their mobile phones. There where no system for distributing them and the place become chaos within minutes with more than 300 passengers, shouting each other and fighting to get their mobile phones. Ai proved their irresponsibility again.

Scene 4: I arrived in India Friday evening 12th Aug. my return ticket booked on 18th Aug, which is only 6 days left. Since it’s rush season, I went to re-confirm my ticket at Air India Office next Monday. It was 2-30 P.M and the place where busy. I went to the counter for register my name; while writing down my name the elderly lady told “I am not sure you will be called today, cz it is too busy and we will be closing at 5-30”. I told her my flight is on next Friday, and tomorrow is Aug 15, which you are closed and then I have no 72 hours left for re-confirm my ticket if don’t do it today.” Then she told me “I cant help you any more, but you have to wait and see”. I tolled her I came for only 6 days and I have no time for waiting in your office for re-confirm my ticket for hours. Time for action, my blood pressure goes high and I ignore that nut lady and headed to the manager’s carbine. I was carrying a higher-class ticket and the manager understands my situation. He then took me to another cabin and re-confirm my ticket, its took him only 3minuts and I left the office giving some @#$%$@ words to that nut lady sitting in the counter. Fucking service on-board and ground.

Scene 5: The sun wasn’t raised yet; I gave a warm hug to my weeks old baby, a glance to my buddy, good bye to my parents and left home and headed to the airport at 5.30 a.m. It was raining heavily and Jagjith Singh’s “forget me not” is playing in the car. We where speeding to catch 8.30 a.m. flight since the airport is around 50 k,m far from my home.

We reached Calicut airport at 7.00 a.m. and after check-in they announce Calicut-Kuwait flight delayed by two hours. I then start reading “The Zahir” and after 30 minute, they re-announced the flight is further delayed by 8 hours, which will take of from Calicut airport at 2-30 p.m. We where waiting in the lounge and no Ai staffs where there for any further Information or assistance. There where many families with children’s and no food or other services offered from Air India till 11, we where called for breakfast in the airport restaurant which was crap and finally we boarded on flight at 1-30 and they again announced there is a technical problem so it will be again delayed. People starts screaming and finally the flight took off 3.15 p.m.

All I have to say I am extremely pissed off with AIR INDIA and hope fully no more trip with our national carrier.

Sorry for the long post guys.

Phone Calls Overseas

Not too long ago, going overseas meant being disconnected from the usual friends and family for the duration of the trip. Yes, anywhere you could go, facilities existed to make the calls, but the cost was high enough to think twice and forego the casual "How are you?" call.

Even today, if you take your cell phone with you, you'd be able to make calls, at the cost of your first born child. It's crazy!

Fortunately, T-Mobile has brought online UMA. Simply put, get a UMA phone, find a Wi-Fi network anywhere, and call your friends like as if you were in your own home. It's pretty cool.

According to T-Mobile, so long as your phone uses the Wi-Fi signal, you shouldn't be charged international roaming. This makes sense because even Google can't really tell where you are browing their website from due to the sheer size and proliferation of the INTERNET, and they're the big dawgs in search.

I just got my UMA enabled BlackBerry. Let's see if my upcoming trip on United to Oz gives me any savings. On my last weekend trip to India, I ran up a $400 phone bill - and I only spoke to my wife!

What's so good about First Class anyway?

Why it's the buxom flight attendants, of course!

And the food.

I'm kidding - men work in First Class too!!! And honestly, there's more to it than that!

The real benefit of first class is the ability to sleep. Let's think about this for a second. When you travel, you can eat, watch movies, talk, read, explore various orifices on your head (or elsewhere as you prefer). However you can't sleep.

Sure, you could doze off, but with the constant din of the engines and the cramped quarters, god forbid an obese person next to you, who can really sleep!? Well, in first class, you can. It's been like that for many years now.

The biggest benefit of the true sleep that you can get is that it diminishes the effects of jet lag. I've tried long distance trips in coach and first, and there's a whole world of difference.

I traveled from Madras, India to Seattle on first in Singapore. Beautiful - I wished the flight were 10 hours longer.

I traveled coach from Newark to Bombay. I was beaten up and worn out at the end of that trip.

So it's expensive, and First Class passengers seem like snobs. However if you can afford it, it's the smart way to travel.

And the Dom Perignon really helps!

The Indian Bus Ride

Who's been on a trip to India? No worries, don't answer that - you know if you've been on one. Indians tend to have the worst airline etiquette in my experience.

I've flown to Hong Kong, Australia, Taiwan, India, all over Western Europe, Japan, North America and Africa. Indians are really lousy passengers.

Now let me make a few clarifications - Indians are really good people. Most Indians are well educated, polite, considerate, often smelly, helpful people. As is always the case, the minority element eventually ends up defining the stereotypes.

When I fly in or out of India, I try, by hook or by crook, to score business or first class seats. This is because Indians are inherently competitive people, looking to win, or atleast, one up the other guy. This is great in the business world but on trivial matters, it can be annoying.

Typically, my experience to and from India can be likened to a third world bus ride, full of drunk rowdy people, fist fights, arguments over who talked to whose girlfriend, injured egos and pride and so on. I'm sorry to say, being Indian, I'm ashamed of it.

I don't think it's a lot to ask of someone to be open minded and forgiving. Maybe I glanced at your hot wife with the nice round C cups, or accidentally sat in your seat instead of mine. A little politeness can go a long way and besides, if you're so incapable of handling other guys staring at your wife, maybe you're not man enough for her ... You think?

Anyway, for 30 years, Indian behavior has worsened in the air. A lot of international carriers fly to India now, but once upon a time, there was only Air India and their service was awesome.

Now, they suck, and their flight attendants are as old as their jets ... The details of which are for a different note, but indicative of how resigned they are to their positive customer service attitude. Let's face it - The foreign airlines have to force smiles on their faces because Indians are not good passengers. They are rude, unkind, unforgiving and on average, try to treat the crew like servants who are beneath themselves.

If Indians expect to retain a class based society, then, certainly, the cost of travel will go up and stay up, at the expense of decency and quality.

Buy Your Own Meals

There was once a time when airlines served full meals in coach, with real silverware, free alcohol and a selection of meals. Those times are almost a memory.

I say almost because in other countries like India and Taiwan/Hong Kong/Asia in general, they still do serve meals that vary from splendid to ok.

In the United States of America, airlines have slowly adopted a policy of selling meals on board.

Initially, this policy was met with skepticism and disdain, but in my opinion, it's actually the right way to go. Let me explain.

In the days bygone, air travel was much more expensive. This meant that the average traveler was wealthier and more distinguished. Ticket prices were higher and, therefore, quality was higher as well.

I suppose it would make a lot of sense that if an airplane was full of such passengers, then feeding them a high quality meal would certainly attract future business.

Unfortunately, due to competition, prices, and along with that customer quality, has dropped. Treating customers well doesn't mean they will return. So I agree with the airlines in ceasing to serve meals on board.

Airlines have addressed the customer loyalty issue with the frequent flyer programs, which work well, except for the clear indication of decline as indicated by the lack lustre lounges. But that's for a different note.

As far as food goes, some airlines such as Alaska Air have begun serving reasonable meals. What's important is that the price is reasonable, as is the quality. Honestly, even the complimentary meals of days bygone were't awesome.

However the sale of meals on flights has attracted some criticism, which I think is not only unfair but also indicative of hypocracy because, how can freebies be made of anything but the cheapest materials available?.

On my recent trips, here's what I've observed. Flights where decent food and alcohol are sold are of a better average quality than ones where they are free. The flight attendants are nicer, the customers are friendlier and overall, the flight is better.

Cases in point:

1. Eva Air - They don't have any premium liquors on coach or coach deluxe. They give wine or beer free. Food is free, and mediocre. Flight attendants appeared unhappy. Customers were average. Overall, I'd rather have skipped the meal and preferred to pay $10 US for a drink, which is what I'd pay in Dallas at a bar anyway.

2. Alaska Air - You pay for everything. $10 for the Digeplayer with a lot of movies and shows, $5 for a decent cheese burger, a tuna snack box or a deli snack box, and $5 for any of the alcoholic beverages. Overall, well worth the $15 I spent. And they have all sorts of good liquors on board. And the flight attendants are chirpy and often, you wish they'd just give you a beer and shop being so icky nice.

These are two broad examples but are indicative of why pay meals work. People who expect free stuff haven't had a need to earn it, and thus value the product and service lower than someone who is willing to pay for it.

Airlines definitely have to work towards better overall service, but as a recent article pointed out, customers may never be satisfied with the airlines, no matter what improvements they make.

Next, on lounges ...

The Status Race Part 2

Who's heard of the Flight 317 Pajama Party? It's a Victoria Secret party on Virgin America Flight 317 from JFK to LAX on November 28th, and apparently it's by invitation only, and it has models in lingerie and music and all the bells and whistles that Virgin usually lays down. .

With new airlines coming into service, the one trump card they all have is their frequent flyer program. Each have their own nuances but generally they're about the same - you fly - you earn that many miles plus bonuses.

However the value of those miles are a lot like the US Dollar used to be in the 1800s - dependent on who's issuing them.

Each airline allows customers to gain status for less than the status costs. To do this, one only need ask the airline, at which time they enroll you in a sort of challenge, which if met, earns you the full status for a year.

In my experience, climbing the status ladder is more about intelligence gathering than about brute force flying. Airline nerd as I am, I've accumulated miles in a combination of the following ways:

• Flying a lot
• Finding steeply discounted fares to ridiculously far away places on flights that leave at odd hours of the night, only to turn around shortly after I land and return
• Buy gifts for people I don't care about using my credit card that gives me miles
• Having my brothers and my dad fly around using my frequent flyer number
• Donating money to causes for which I really don't care (save the Swedish Underwear Models)
• Write complaint letters to the airlines, which has resulted in some very nice bonuses
• Gain status, after which the airline typically doubles the miles that you fly

When it comes to using your miles, there are two distinct value propositions. They are, namely, domestic and international travel.

Domestic travel is a standard 25000 miles (20000 on a few), even if you wish to fly across the lake. For me, spending my miles on domestic flights is a very bad deal. The ability to spend miles on international flights is what, in my opinion, truly defines the quality of the plan.

The best programs are through American Airlines. Their redemption costs are lower, at 75000 miles for a coach class ticket. Continental is at 90000 miles.

The one notable difference is that American and their partners in OneWorld will only let you use your miles on a certain quota of seats. If those seats sell out, you're out of luck. Continental, on the other hand, has the same policy, and for a higher cost in miles, will sell you any unsold seat. However the cost is pretty high and not worth it.

United/Lufthansa plans are the hardest to gain status on.

Next, about upgrades ...